Is it ever okay to buy your dad a sex toy?
Would you ever give one of your parents a sex toy? And more to the point, should you?
These are the questions we’ve been left with after spotting the Father’s Day gift guide by Goop – of Gwyneth Paltrow fame – which included a $219 [£176] hands-free prostate stimulator by Lelo.
We’d be lying if we said we didn’t baulk at the idea – but were we just being prudish?
It seems expert opinion on the subject is divided.
When asked if they had anyone willing to offer their advice on the subject, a representative for the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists simply said: ‘I am sure they would all agree that this is inappropriate and a huge boundary break.
‘Really there is no more we can say on this matter.’
But when we asked a sexpert at Lovehoney, they pointed out that the conversation around mothers and sex toys has been a lot less… taboo in recent years in comparison.
‘We are happy to see that a sex toy made it into the Goop Father’s Day gift guide,’ says Elisabeth Neumann, who’s a sexologist and the head of user research at the company.
‘While we have seen sex toys on Mother’s Day gift guides for a while now, it still seems to be a different story for men.
‘Masturbation is still seen as taboo or something we should not talk about with our parents.’
To be fair, she’s right – plenty of publications, from Bustle to Refinery 29, have written in favour of giving your mum a sex toy and even compiled helpful gift guides for years.
So, even though it would be fair to argue that an expert who works with a sex toy company might have a scooch of bias on the subject, Elisabeth makes a very valid point.
‘We recently conducted a survey with our in-house research panel and found that 79% of parents talk about contraception and STIs with their children, while only 45% also talk about pleasure and masturbation,’ Elisabeth added.
‘Our research also showed that fathers are less comfortable talking about masturbation and sex with their children than mothers.
‘The Good Father’s Day gift guide is a great conversation starter to discuss why it seems more normal to talk with [parents] about pleasure. I understand that many people feel uncomfortable to even think about the sex lives of their parents, and it is valid to have boundaries about these topics.
‘Still, parents do have sex too, as much as the right to experience pleasure and satisfaction, regardless of their age.’
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