My boss pressured me into hot sex and now I feel horrible for cheating on my husband – The Sun
DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been having a hot affair with my boss, though I have a lovely husband and cheating makes me feel horrible.
I am 36 and my husband is 38. We have an eight-year-old son and generally our marriage is good.
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My husband isn’t the most attentive person in the world but I know he loves me.
My boss asked me to lunch six months ago. At first I refused but he kept asking me and, a few weeks later, I agreed.
We drove to a pub out of town and I enjoyed myself. He made me feel very special.
We went for lunch a couple more times and things changed.
He began texting me at work and the messages became more and more flirty.
He made it very clear what he wanted to happen. He very slowly made things progress and was clearly in control.
He took me for lunch at a hotel and told me he had booked a room.
I’d had a couple of drinks by then and wasn’t really thinking straight.
I found it hard to resist him pressuring me and we ended up having very passionate sex.
He takes pride in being a good lover and is very fit for 52.
Afterwards, we got dressed without saying much. At work, we carried on our working relationship as normal.
We haven’t seen one another for a month now, as we are both working from home.
But he keeps texting and sending me photos of himself. He has a family and has made it clear this is just fun.
I know he is not a nice person and treats a lot of people like this. This is not fun for me, as I end up feeling horrible.
I just need someone to tell me that I must ignore him the next time he contacts me.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You really do not need me – or anyone else – to tell you to ignore your boss’s demands.
You know you must cut things off but it will help you be firm if you understand why you find it so hard to stand up to him when you know he is not a nice person.
Look inside yourself to work out why you let him break down your resolve.
Were you raised to be a people-pleaser or to believe it is unwomanly to refuse to give a man what he wants?
Write down on a piece of paper that you keep in your wallet or pocket: “If I say yes to my boss, I’m choosing to risk my marriage and damage my son’s happiness.”
Tell your boss your affair is over and hold that piece of paper in your hand if he tries to ask you out again.
If he causes you any problems at work, contact Acas (acas.org.uk, 0300 123 1100).
Block him from your thoughts by working hard on rekindling the passion in your marriage.
My e-leaflet 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex will give you lots of ideas.
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